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Tamara's Flooby Web Log

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Surgery Fun!

Yesterday was my laparoscopic surgery to remove two ovarian cysts and my sick gall bladder. I had to get up at 4 am to be at the hospital by 5:30. We made it with time to spare. I was then called into the lab so they could weigh me and draw three vials of blood. Oh, and I had to pee in a cup. I much prefer the peeing on a stick that you do when you're pregnant. Peeing in a cup is hard. I always manage to pee all over my hand.

I went back out to the waiting area after getting my blood drawn and eventually was taken to the pre-op room and given a lovely, large purple paper gown to put on. I also got these cute blue slipper socks for my feet. After getting all gowned up the nurse sat me in a recliner and hooked a hose up to my gown (yes, you read that right) which then proceeded to pump warm air under the gown. Evidently studies have shown that the warmer patients are before surgery the less energy their body has to expend warming up after surgery and it can get right down to business of healing all those cuts.

Then the nurse gave me a pill to help with the post-op nausea and she hooked me up with an IV. I've got great veins so that wasn't a traumatic experience and I must say she did a fantastic job because the place where the needle was inserted isn't even sore today. Keen.

Then Mike and Tracey were allowed to come back and sit with me. I read and chatted. I told them about signing the consent form for being put under with anesthesia. The listed side effects included: loss of a limb, blood clots, brain damange, paralysis, and death. There was no way in hell I was going through the surgery with only a local though. I did not want to be awake for any of it so I decided to risk death and go for the anesthesia.

Tracey, wonderful friend that she is spent some of the time talking about people who were put under anesthesia yet retained knowledge of everything that was being done to them, including the pain. Strangely enough joking about stuff like that helps me in situations like this. It takes the edge off something that could be worrisome.

After being visited by the anesthesiologist, my Ob-gyn and the general surgeon who was going to be removing my pesky gall bladder, I went on one final trip to the potty and was soon being walked down the hall to my doom. It was actually kind of neat because they wrapped warm blankets around me so I wouldn't be too cold and so my ass wouldn't show. Actually the paper gown was large enough that hiding my ass from view was easy. Not that I cared really. My ass isn't much to look at and there wasn't a huge crowd of people around at 7:30 in the morning. Oh and I also got to wear a cute paper hat. Thankfully I didn't have to look at myself in a mirror.

So the operating room was kind of big and cold. But, and this was so cool, the operating table was warmed. No pesky shivering for me. I was wrapped in warm blankets and then transferred directly to a warm table. Nice! I got myself situated and the anesthesiologist zapped some dope into my IV. I commented that the stuff sure worked fast and I was out.

The next thing I knew I was waking up with a killer headache and the worst case of dry mouth you could imagine. The kindly nurse in the recovery room soon took care of that headache with more dope and I gradually woke up feeling a bit out of sorts but pretty good. She got me up soon after I was awake and took me to the bathroom where I put on my clothes. Oh, I was also supposed to pee but there was no pee forthcoming so I was taken to the step down room and put in a recliner similar to the one in the pre-op waiting area. She brought me a cup of ice and water and gave me a packet of saltines and Mike and Tracey filed in soon after.

I was still a little groggy and out of it but my headache was gone and I didn't feel any pain from the five incisions on my belly. I knew they were there because the areas were tender but I wasn't feeling any pain.

So Mike sits down and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Guess what? You still have your gall bladder."

"What?" I replied incredulously.

"It was too inflamed and is adhering to part of your stomach and small intestine. The surgeon was afraid he might tear a hole in your intestine. It's going to have to be removed the old-fashioned way, with major surgery."

My response... "Fuck." And once more for good measure, "Fuck."

Yep, my gall bladder from hell. It really doesn't want to leave its cozy home amongst my warm, squishy internal organs. The little bastard.

On the plus side, the Ob-gyn removed two ovarian cysts. Evidently they were easy to remove because of the way they were attached so that went great. So I guess it's good that I had two procedures going that day otherwise these holes in my belly would have been for naught and that would have *really* pissed me off.

After I was able to make pee pee the nurse cleared me to go home and I was wheel-chaired to the car in style. Once home I promptly went to bed. I wasn't in any pain but I sure was tired.

Today I'm still kind of weak but laparoscopic surgery isn't too bad. The incisions aren't painful. I haven't had to take one pain pill and other than the annoyance of not being able to sleep on my stomach yet I haven't had too much to complain about. Well, I can complain that my gall bladder is still in residence but by golly that thing is outta here soon. I don't even care that I'm going to be stuck in a real hospital and have a real incision with real stiches. I don't mind hospital food and I can catch up on some reading. And best of all I can finally have that ceremony where I burn my gall bladder on a little altar and scatter the ashes in my backyard.

Now for all of you people who love looking at internal organs I'm going to include some pictures of my sick gall bladder and my ovarian cysts. The ovarian cysts are really gross looking. You've been warned.

To see Tamara's Ovarian Cysts Click Here!
To see Tamara's Evil Gall Bladder Click Here!

posted by Tamara - 1:35 PM -- Link to this entry
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