Monday, August 18, 2003
Great Start to Monday
Who’s the fucktard who thought it would be a great idea to design locking doorknobs that, while locked, can still be opened from the inside? Did it seem like a good idea that any unsuspecting person can then exit a room and BE LOCKED OUT? I’ll tell ya something. It’s not a good idea.
Let’s just say a person decides to refill the dogs’ water dish which is located in the garage. Now that person is currently babysitting two puppies (along with her one) and they are door dashers. Not wanting the door dashers who may or may not be house-trained to come into the house, she pulls the door shut behind her to get the dogs’ water dish. Upon attempting to enter the house, she discovers that the door is locked. Now, being that it’s morning all of the exterior doors to the house are still locked tight from the night before. And while it may look easy on television, breaking a door down, even a crappy cheap hollow door, is not easy. It’s impossible!
Starting to panic now because (and I should have mentioned this earlier) her 11 month old son is in the house alone, roaming free. So her only recourse is to ask to use a neighbor’s phone and call someone to bring a key. Never mind that it’s 10:30 am in the morning and she’s still in her freakin’ pajamas. Never mind that said pajamas consist of a large t-shirt with glow-in-the-dark constellations all over it *and* the ‘my pregnant belly stretched the elastic so they’re really loose’ boxers. The neighbor is naturally bathed, dressed and nicely coiffed for watering her lawn.
After calmly berating the person she suspects locked the door to the garage she then has to go back into the garage and peer in through the window of the crappy, hollow but impossible to break down door to wait for rescue. Fortunately she can see her son right in front of the door calmly playing with stuff from the pantry. The pantry whose child proof restraint obviously wasn’t re-attached. She has to watch him pull all manner of foodstuffs from the shelves and laugh as he sees his mother peering in at him. She has to pray that he doesn’t get the lid off the olive oil again or that the bag of rice he’s shaking with abandon doesn’t tear.
Now, you tell me, with a start to a day like that you’d pretty much think your day was destined to suck. Wouldn’t you? I’ll let you know how it goes....
posted by Tamara - 9:04 AM -- Link to this entry
Show / Post Comments
Home | Flooby
Reviews | Flooby Reviews Archives | Flaming Carrot vs. the Legion of Super-Heroes | TJ's Web Log
Web Log | About Flooby.com | Flooby Carrot! | Who
is the Flaming Carrot? | Links